Extroverted Dilema

For the last couple of days I've been rather manic. I've had great mornings or afternoons only to lead to quiet, depressed, almost cranky evenings. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel like I'm in need of something, I'm looking for something and the people around me aren't quite satisfying it. At least not all the time. I'm not saying my life sucks, it doesn't. This afternoon I was reminded how much I love my job when a former regular came in and I'd realized I hadn't seen him for quite a while.

I asked where he had been and he started telling me about his move to Baton Rouge Louisiana. He was telling me about his job, working out the logistics with his girlfriend and how he misses our bagels and is coming back every time he is in town. He isn't one of my favorite customers by any means, but he was a familiar face and someone I didn't realized I'd gotten to know. I knew his girlfriend, I knew they weren't married but were serious enough that she will be moving to Louisiana. I felt honored to know him like that, to know such details of his life.

After that he started telling me about his job. He is at LSU researching people's postures, they are looking at how many calories someone burns while sitting vs. while standing. He was telling me you burn about 1 calorie a minute when sitting, but 1.5 when standing, and added up that makes a large difference. He told me that they found there is one muscle that makes this difference, and its in the calf. This one muscle is used for standing but not sitting and does enough work to make a large amount of difference. We started talking about how working on your feet (like I do) is incredibly good for you, and how being "active" is as important as exercising. This conversation was totally random, but incredibly pleasant. I was fascinated by what he studies, and I think he enjoyed that I found it interesting. I live for conversations like these. I'm not sure why but I really love them.

But I don't have them enough. And when I don't, I feel numb. I feel so numb right now. But its so short term. In an hour I could be talking with someone and get right back to feeling fine. I think this is when I'm at my most extroverted. I need people, to talk to and share with. I think these uber extraverted times align with the highs in my mania, when satisfied, and the lows when they aren't. So I guess I'm only manic when I'm extroverted, because much of the time I don't need constant interaction. I need an average amount.

Don't assume this blog sums up how I feel about life right now. I feel great, I really do. I just have these parts of me.