Be You(tiful)

So tomorrow is the 2009 Love Your Body Day. This day is celebrated to help promote healthy images of women in the media. It is celebrated to recognize that women we see in the media are often unrealistic. It is celebrated to increase love for our selves, our own bodies.

Because we are all different and that is okay.

These two posters are from last year, but I still love them... a lot.

The message that this one gives is particularly strong, and its my favorite.

http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/

you can't bring the future back

I feel bad because I don't have the energy to write a real post. One where I can actually discuss something I've been thinking about or wanting to share. I would really like to do one on evolution. I want to explain it to people so they understand that it doesn't exclude religion. Sadly I only posses the desire, not the energy or time to do it. So instead I will be updating you.

This week was a very very rough week. I had too much on my plate, as I often do. I made it through alright, but it was hard. It was immensely more frustrating than I thought it would be.

I had a great shape presentation on Monday that reminded me why I give so much time and effort to the organization. Its always great to have one of those because it refreshes you, its like the health educator equivalent of sleeping in.

But then on Tuesday night I was reminded why 18 year old college freshman are douche bags. (Thanks Hatch) That presentation was disappointing to say the least.

The one we had right after it was redeeming though. We had a small group of girls and once they started opening up and asking questions, it just didn't stop. I kind of felt like Emily and I had done our part in education by encouraging a girl to masturbate. It was a very big deal, and when the presentation was over, she was excited for those free packs of lube. They were a very receiving, open minded group of girls who had just never talked about sex in the way that we do. It again reminded me of why I do this.

While the presentation were okay overall, school was completely demoralizing. There were a variety of emotions this week. Most of all I miss my friends. Not only do I miss the people here in Columbia, but I miss others even more. I miss having one of those deep conversation based friendships. Through out the past years I've had someone in that role in my life. I miss it so much now that I don't have it. I need to talk stuff through with someone, I don't necessarily have to talk out problems with them, I just need to talk to them about deeper issues. Different people have done that for me during periods of my life, and lately I've found myself missing every single one of them more than other long distance friends. Its like my soul is just longing for a conversation with them. Its hard because I feel like the weaker one for that. It doesn't help the stress.

I think one thing that may help in the near future is the newly formed Unitarian Universalist group at Mizzou. I've always heard previously unhappy religious people speak of one church or group of people by saying "it was like they felt exactly what I felt" It could not be more true. I feel like there is this collective experience that we've had with religion. I immediately feel at home with these people. It brings back the happy feelings I had at Jacob's Well and even at Blue Ridge. To have that sense of spiritual community is unlike any other feeling, and its something I greatly value. At the same time, its fairly overwhelming. That is a strong feeling in my heart and its not easily dealt with. I frequently cried at Jacob's Well because that feeling was so overwhelming. To have that back will be a spiritual challenge to really deal with my faith in a way that I haven't done.

Now, back to the lighter issues. I'm glad to say that at the end of the month I will be going to the Healthy Teen Network Conference in Tampa Florida. Shape is sending a few people because "youth" really just means young people in health educator language. It seriously ranges up to 24 years old. So there will be professionals in the field I want to go into at this conference. It shouldn't be as ridiculously disappointing as BACCHUS was last year. That was a student group conference, where this one is a professional conference. I think I will learn much more. I'm also pretty excited to go to Florida while its getting cold and to spend more time with both Jessicas. However, I am not excited about flying. Its always a toss up for me. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm sick. Its just all over the place. Its something I would like to be able to do easily, but its just not.

So that is the update on my life. Please keep my family in your prayers as we continue to spend time with my grandfather. Please pray for my sister who is moving back to KC and looking for a job. And please pray for those at Rock Bridge who lost a friend to suicide this weekend.

I leave you with a semi-quote about the idea of race.

"If we teach out kids that we are all the same, they will innately look for our differences. But if we teach our children that we are all different, they will look for the threads that bind us together"

Dreams of Old

I had this dream more than two and half years ago. I had written it down after waking up and I just reread the description of it. Its still quite vivid in my memory. Its really strange and I feel like it has so much meaning for life, I just don't know what it means exactly.

I'm in a group of people who were all close to me. We all know that we are supposed to die. I had some idea that God was asking us to do this for a purpose, and there was probably reincarnation involved. It was absolutely clear that it was for the greater good.

One by one people start dying but not in regular ways. As more people died, I noticed that shortly before their death, we could see how they were going to die. There was one instance where I needed to drive Carl Carney's truck. But the seats and steering wheel were in the bed of the truck. A tiger came leaping over the front towards us and I stretched out my arm and punched it square in the forehead. It fell back.

Carl, who was in the backseat explained that the other person in the back seat (whoever it was)had to face the tiger, it was how they were supposed to die.I understood, because I thought they were supposed to face a white siberian tiger

As we drive on, a white siberian tiger jumps up and I have a hard time letting it go by me to kill the person in the backseat.

Then I go somewhere to see Rachel DeMoss (like an eight year old version of her) I cared very much about her and it was very sobering to see her for the last time. I was trying to figure out how I was going to die. I saw that I had to go down a slide, but I didn't understand.

I turned to someone, possibly a woman, and she said I had to go down the slide through the barrier and there would be railroad tracks on the other side. Once I understood what I was supposed to do, I prepared myself to die.

I started down the slide, but I don't remember going through any barrier or seeing any railroad tracks. Next thing I know, I am sitting at a high top table with my father and brother (?) and God. We were just casually talking. I was very at peace while talking to God.

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I can place some things, but in a meaningless way. Like when I was at the hightop tables, it looked like I was in an applebees. And going down the slide with railroad tracks reminds me of Fire in the Hole, some amusement ride at Silver Dollar City that I was scared of as a kid. You literally go down a track into a pit. But the tiger? The woman? A brother? God?

footbaaaaaaaaaaaall

Yesterday at work was craaazy. It was the first MU home game, so of course everyone has to get their bagel on. Well I came home and did some homework (and pre-gaming) and I realized I really want to watch the game somewhere.

Wait...what? I want to watch football?? huh? Not only did I watch the entire game, but I was at a SPORTS bar (did you know people cheer there?) it was really fun actually. I also kind of tail gated before the game! What the heck? Since when did I care about football?

Well, since I turned 21 probably.

But then today I have been doing homework and I turned on the tv, and was kind of disappointed because there was an NFL game about to come on (not the summer series Merlin that has been on. yes:nerd) Then I ended up watching the entire thing. I'm sad the Bears didn't pull through, but it was an interesting game to watch while doing homework.

TWO football games in ONE weekend? I also said I actually want to GO to a game. There is seriously something wrong with me, do I have swine flu?

In other news, Kanye West is an ass hole. Taylor Swift was broken after that, and its so sad. I hope she dismisses his opinion because he is just a jerk. Beyonce did the right thing, and she is obviously much more classy than Kanye. Douche.

If you don't know what happened, watch the video

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1621389/20090913/west_kanye.jhtml

Hockey, Success, and the CDC

I had my first sociology class today. I think this class will be great because its not just a survey course. Its a 1000 level, but it has a focus on media, culture, and identity. Which means a couple things; no boring text book that costs way too much, instead there are five much smaller but more interesting books. These books are pretty awesome ranging from gay suburbanites to America's culture of fear.

One thing he discussed today that I thought was interesting was talking about success. One of the books talks about the idea of success. We all think that successful people work hard for everything they get and they are smart about what they do. We think unsuccessful people could have done more, could have tried harder or longer. Well, thats really not all that goes into it. His example from the book is that among the most successful hockey players, a large portion of them were born in January, February, or March. Why?

Well in Canada, kids hockey leagues age cut offs are January 1st. So the kids born in January of one year are bigger, stronger, and more developed then kids in their league who were born in say October or November. This is especially true because they start hockey leagues in Canada at what, four or five? Thats a huge difference in development at that age. So these kids are better when they are five years old, so what? Well since they are better are knocking kids around, more people notice. As a result, they get more praise, more encouragement, and more attention over time. Their parents or coaches try to ensure they are given good opportunities specifically because they show strength. Yes someone's hockey talent has a great deal to do with their abilities, and I'm not saying its a bad thing to encourage those kids. I'm just saying, its not all about how hard that one person works or how talented they are naturally. Take into consideration how likely someone from the Southwestern US is to be as good as that guy from Canada. A lot of success has to do with surrounding, being in the right place at the right time, doing the right networking, and some things even come down to luck.

I think that is pretty damn interesting. I think its partially interesting to me because it reassures me that maybe its not my fault. I always feel like I'm not doing enough or working hard enough to be great. I think its something that happens to smart kids. People praise you and expect you to do great things. And I want to do great things, I aim highly. But can I get there? I will always doubt myself, but I don't want to get my hopes up when it comes to my career.

Bare Necessities

If you could only own 7 things, what would they be?

Nick and I drunkly discussed this last night and I think thats a rather tough question. Matt likes the minimalist ideas quite a bit. Dare I say I think it may be rubbing off on me. Here are my 7.

1. The Bible

The reasoning here is that I like reading, I like books. Well the Bible is a pretty versatile one with lots of stories and various things to analyze and place meaning to. Its a great book. Also, I figure at some point in my life I will be more serious about religion and I think it will be a good resource.

2. A lap top

To communicate, research, google where to eat, etc. I would be okay having to go to a coffee shop or something to use their internet, but I think a computer is the biggest tool I can have in todays society.

3. A cell phone

Part of the reason I would want to own few things was to increase mobility. To be able to pack up my back pack and move on. This means moving around a lot. I think a cell phone would be the number two most important item to have in todays society. Its a tool obviously to communicate but also to gather information. Also for personal safety, to be able to call and check in with family and contact resources if I needed help.

4. A cup

For numerous purposes. To drink, hold things, etc. I think it can take the place of many other items.

5. A fork

Because plastic dinnerware just won't do.

6. A spoon

And not all foods can effectively be eaten with a fork

7. A hairbrush

Because my hair is thick and I don't want to have gross hair just because of a minimalist philosophy.

Feliz Cumpleanos a Mi

My 21st birthday was this weekend. It was a lot of fun. I went out and drank but didn't get stupid drunk. Thanks to everyone who came, I really had a good time! I don't think it could have gone better.

For my birthday Liz got me a gift certificate to Dollar Tree. Dollar stores in general (except Dollar General...ironic) are awesome! We love that place. I think the best gifts are things people want but won't buy for themselves. Liz made a rule that I had to spend it on frivolous things, not necessities. So I had way too much fun buying random stuff. And to show her that I followed the rule, I took a picture of it all.

Here is the run down, going counter clockwise starting with the flowers.

So my favorite purchase was the flowers. It did take me for-freaking-ever to arrange them just how I wanted, then stabilizing it (with pennies) and what not in the pot. It was really really frustrating. But the end result is satisfactory.

You can't quite tell what it is, but that purple box next to it is a Snuggle air freshner. All I look for in air fresheners is something that sells like laundry. I LOVE the smell of dryer sheets, so this really is my ideal air freshener.

Next up is some oregano and parsley. I would just buy myself italian seasoning instead of these two because I'd only have to buy one and its cheaper, but having these two is a good addition to my spices. I think I use spices a lot more than most people, but I think they make a big difference in dishes.

Next on the list is a book about the planets. Random, but I'm pretty excited to read it.

Eye shadow...for fun.

Then that orange packet thing...it actually has a key chain with beads. Its feminine and I like it.

This one might just be my favorite-DR. PEPPER FREEZER POPS!!! o.m.g. srsly? they make these!!!! I'm eating one now and its pretty darn good.

Then a water bottle, because school is coming up and I may need one, also its smaller than the ones they have at wal mart and stuff which is good because I never drink that much and I end up throwing out the water anyway.

Next up it some sweet pea bubble bath for...well for bubble baths.

Then a bath pillow, since I've only recently discovered the joyous nature of baths and think this may enhance it.

So maybe I'd buy the Dr. Pepper freezer pops for myself, but I think everything else qualifies as frivolous right??

I LOVE YOU LIZ!!!