I feel bad because I don't have the energy to write a real post. One where I can actually discuss something I've been thinking about or wanting to share. I would really like to do one on evolution. I want to explain it to people so they understand that it doesn't exclude religion. Sadly I only posses the desire, not the energy or time to do it. So instead I will be updating you.
This week was a very very rough week. I had too much on my plate, as I often do. I made it through alright, but it was hard. It was immensely more frustrating than I thought it would be.
I had a great shape presentation on Monday that reminded me why I give so much time and effort to the organization. Its always great to have one of those because it refreshes you, its like the health educator equivalent of sleeping in.
But then on Tuesday night I was reminded why 18 year old college freshman are douche bags. (Thanks Hatch) That presentation was disappointing to say the least.
The one we had right after it was redeeming though. We had a small group of girls and once they started opening up and asking questions, it just didn't stop. I kind of felt like Emily and I had done our part in education by encouraging a girl to masturbate. It was a very big deal, and when the presentation was over, she was excited for those free packs of lube. They were a very receiving, open minded group of girls who had just never talked about sex in the way that we do. It again reminded me of why I do this.
While the presentation were okay overall, school was completely demoralizing. There were a variety of emotions this week. Most of all I miss my friends. Not only do I miss the people here in Columbia, but I miss others even more. I miss having one of those deep conversation based friendships. Through out the past years I've had someone in that role in my life. I miss it so much now that I don't have it. I need to talk stuff through with someone, I don't necessarily have to talk out problems with them, I just need to talk to them about deeper issues. Different people have done that for me during periods of my life, and lately I've found myself missing every single one of them more than other long distance friends. Its like my soul is just longing for a conversation with them. Its hard because I feel like the weaker one for that. It doesn't help the stress.
I think one thing that may help in the near future is the newly formed Unitarian Universalist group at Mizzou. I've always heard previously unhappy religious people speak of one church or group of people by saying "it was like they felt exactly what I felt" It could not be more true. I feel like there is this collective experience that we've had with religion. I immediately feel at home with these people. It brings back the happy feelings I had at Jacob's Well and even at Blue Ridge. To have that sense of spiritual community is unlike any other feeling, and its something I greatly value. At the same time, its fairly overwhelming. That is a strong feeling in my heart and its not easily dealt with. I frequently cried at Jacob's Well because that feeling was so overwhelming. To have that back will be a spiritual challenge to really deal with my faith in a way that I haven't done.
Now, back to the lighter issues. I'm glad to say that at the end of the month I will be going to the Healthy Teen Network Conference in Tampa Florida. Shape is sending a few people because "youth" really just means young people in health educator language. It seriously ranges up to 24 years old. So there will be professionals in the field I want to go into at this conference. It shouldn't be as ridiculously disappointing as BACCHUS was last year. That was a student group conference, where this one is a professional conference. I think I will learn much more. I'm also pretty excited to go to Florida while its getting cold and to spend more time with both Jessicas. However, I am not excited about flying. Its always a toss up for me. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm sick. Its just all over the place. Its something I would like to be able to do easily, but its just not.
So that is the update on my life. Please keep my family in your prayers as we continue to spend time with my grandfather. Please pray for my sister who is moving back to KC and looking for a job. And please pray for those at Rock Bridge who lost a friend to suicide this weekend.
I leave you with a semi-quote about the idea of race.
"If we teach out kids that we are all the same, they will innately look for our differences. But if we teach our children that we are all different, they will look for the threads that bind us together"
